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Waiting room

The most dreaded place to be. I’m in a room all alone with many outcomes. You either are in love with me. Or you love me. And I’m here waiting. I’m waiting for someone to come out and corner me only to break me or make me. Either way I would have to live the last of my life to the fullest. That’s only because there is no fear with certainty and why should there be. I just want to free. Free from doubt, sickness, blame, hurt but most of all being dead while I’m alil alive.

The world as we know it.

Humans settle. Let your fears go or choose to live an unhappy life. The ending is never better from settling. Find what most true to you means you are no longer fearful. Being able to filter your fears. Losing yourself is a fear. Finding yourself is more fear. It’s easy for
Some one to tell you who you are. Being yourself is to scary. Your afraid of being alone. But why? When people you think are happy to have you in their life’s they may not be the same happy as you. And that’s if your even happy at all.

Pits

There’s a pit in my stomach. An ache in my bones. Scrambled thoughts run though my mind all day and all night. I wish it wasn’t so complicated. I don’t want to live without you but cannot force you to love me. My only wish is to not start a new year with me if you plan to end my life the day after. Give me a fresh start after a year of ups and downs. It’s the least you can give me for the times you’ve turned your back and played your games. But I guess that’s even to much for me to handle. I rather feel so insecure with you then finding my stability without you. You and I are different I get that. I may have started something I could have not finished. I should have never packed up and walked out because we haven’t been the same. That’s all I want. To go back to those rough days where neither of is got up and walked away. Were young though. At least I know what I want. At least I treat you like I do and not like you treat me. It makes no sense to act so cold. Why slowly add germs to a greatly effected wound.